Let’s get one thing clear right off the bat, Republicans: You didn’t lose because people didn’t ‘wake up’ in time, or because Black Panthers carjacked all the little white nanas on the way to the polling place. The UN didn’t shut down stations in republican states, and HAARP didn’t make that gust of wind push a tree limb on just your car. ACORN didn’t replace your vote with a big piece of paper that just said “Obama” on it, and George Soros didn’t do a Jedi mind trick and make all red blooded Ammuuuuricans tick the D box when they meant the R. Don’t be one of those people who complain about bad referees when it’s obvious their team choked. You lost because, quite simply, your candidate was horrible.
This isn’t the end of the world (except for Ted Nugent and his ilk); you can actually get through this. All you need to do is keep some tips in mind for next time.
1. Turn off Fox News. I know it pains you to think of it, but all of media is not in a massive conspiracy, with your beacon of light, Fox News, cutting through the lies. Look at Murdoch’s other media empires – he’s an opportunist. He saw a need for fear-based ‘reporting’ in the US, and he went with it. The over-coiffed people on the couch feeding you a steady diet of misinformation and paranoia? Not helping you. Coulter and O’Reilly are only on Fox because they need to shill their newest book; they have to be there – you don’t. Unplug the tv, get some fresh air.
2. Stop letting the lunatics run the asylum. Remember when ‘conservative’ meant ‘fiscally prudent and laissez-faire regarding social issues’? Yeah, no one else born after 1980 does either. From Ron Regan’s courting of the Religious right, to John McCain’s choice to open the floodgates of insanity in the form of Sarah Palin, intellectuals and moderates no longer run your party – extremists do. And the American public as a whole fear those extremists, and sent a message that they won’t put up with racist homophobe ignoramuses any longer. You need to do the same from within. Which brings us to our next point…
3. Quit the ignorance. From Santorum calling the President a ‘snob’ because he wanted all young adults to get an education, to Tea-party led school boards and districts white-washing textbooks to fit what they wished happened, versus what did, your party is likely to sink under the weight of its own stupidity. Stop being afraid of math, science, and numbers. Find your local librarian and ask her how to research primary resources. Don’t just rattle off what Breitbart or WorldNetDaily or Newsbusters or the Heritage Foundation says – look up the full text behind the sound bite. You’ll find yourself shocked by the results.
4. Tell your leaders that the buck stops here. Are you sick of political ads? Well, good luck, because they’ll be back in 1.5 years for the mid-term elections. Want to stop the rhetoric? Tell your senator, rep, council person, everyone, that you won’t vote for them again till they pass comprehensive campaign reform (this goes for all parties, by the way). Corporations are not people. Super PACs are not good. Politicians aren’t supposed to be run by lobbyists. Get the money out. And those who refuse? Get them out in the next election cycle.
And finally, because this will come up again in our nation…
5. Choose a candidate because you like them, not because you hate the other guy. Who happens to be black. Who, the minute he took the oath, magically became the focus of birthers and prominent ferret headwear collector Donald Trump, a massive movement of the Tea Party who just ‘happened’ to spring up to fight him (even though the things they yell about were things Bush did for eight years without a peep), and a Republican led effort to ensure he’d get nothing done (to quote Mitch McConnell : “The single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president.”). I’m not going to paint all of you with a racist brush, but I will say this – they did all of this, and still lost, because Americans got sick and tired of your divisiveness. And this goes for the next candidate, who may be disabled. Or gay. Or a woman.
Republicans, you better evolve. Now. Or spend a lot of Tuesday nights, sullenly staring at the tv, making excuses for your party.