Tag Archives: memes

The memeage of parenting

Posted by Shea in Parenting and tagged with ,

I saw this meme floating around, and while generally I quickly glance over parenting stuff, as this one was specifically for mothers teaching their sons some lessons, I guess I was looking for some tips.

 

I did not get any tips.

 

What I did get was some outdated crap that looked desperately in need of an update.

So, I present 20 things a mom should tell her son, with my revisions in bold.

TWENTY THINGS A MOM SHOULD TELL HER SON

1. Play a sport.
It will teach you how to win honorably,
lose gracefully, respect authority,
work with others, manage your time
and stay out of trouble.
And maybe even throw or catch.

1.  Pick an activity you enjoy and try your best.  Every discipline in this world, from sports to dance to academic quiz team teaches you hard work, ethical play, and leadership.  

2. You will set the tone
for the sexual relationship,
so don’t take something away from her
that you can’t give back.#

2.  *Eyeroll at ‘you will set the tone’ bullshit*.  In the future, you may want to enter into a sexual relationship (in the DISTANT future).  You and your partner are equals, and should be using your mouths for communication before anything else.  Talk about your relationship – your needs, your wants, your fears.  Respect each other equally.  

3. Use careful aim when you pee.
Somebody’s got to clean that up, you know.

3.  Let rip when you pee.  As I have taught you to clean up after yourself, you’ll be mopping up whizz if you miss, so it’s on you, buddy!

4. Save money when you’re young
because you’re going to need it someday.

4.  Great tip, frugal living (with a few splurges) in youth will help your older self in the long run.  

.
5. Allow me to introduce you
to the dishwasher, oven,
washing machine, iron,
vacuum, mop and broom.
Now please go use them.

5.  See tip #3.  Be your own cleaner.  

6. Pray and be a spiritual leader.

6.  Be a decent, upstanding person.  If your spirituality helps you achieve that goal, great.  If not, fine.  But you will be, in all ways, a light in your community and world. 

7. Don’t ever be a bully
and don’t ever start a fight,
but if some idiot clocks you,
please defend yourself.

7.  Defend yourself, yes, but use it as a teachable moment – reach out to the bully who is obviously in pain themselves.  

8. Your knowledge and education is something
that nobody can take away from you.

8.  Knowledge is paramount.  So is common sense, and the ability to always question.  Don’t just learn what you’re told – investigate.  See if the teacher is teaching you the truth, or what they wish is true.  

9. Treat women kindly.
Forever is a long time to live alone
and it’s even longer to live with somebody
who hates your guts.

9.  Uh, how about treat everyone kindly, because you will be sharing this Earth with them forever, and no one likes a dickhead.  

10. Take pride in your appearance.

10.  Meh.  Take a bath, comb your hair, brush your teeth, but if you never care about fashion or the latest ‘it’ trend, I won’t lose sleep.  

11. Be strong and tender at the same time.

11.  Oy.  Look, kid, you are going to have a lot of conflicting messages in this world, that men should be one way or another, or *gasp* a bit of both.  These are RIDICULOUS notions – be a decent person.  That’s it.  Don’t worry about which emotional quality is ‘masculine’ or ‘feminine’ in that moment, just be decent.  This isn’t brain surgery.  

12. A woman can do everything that you can do.
This includes her having a successful career
and you changing diapers at 3 A.M.
Mutual respect is the key to a good relationship.

12.  …yeah, except for point 3 (where someone else is cleaning up after you), and point 2 (where apparently you rule the bedroom).  Look, your momma is a very strong woman, so you’ll be growing up with this drilled into your skull, but you and whoever you choose as a partner are a team.  Sometimes, one of you leads, sometimes, the other does, but in everything, you are a united front.  (And for the record, if you never have kids, I don’t care.  Do what is right for your team, and no one else.)

13. “Yes ma’am” and “yes sir”
still go a long way.

13.  Yes, be polite.  Open doors for everyone regardless of gender.  Offer your seat on the bus to anyone who looks like they could use it.  A little kindness goes a long way.  

14. The reason that they’re called “private parts”
is because they’re “private”.
Please do not scratch them in public.

14.  Also, if I see you with your trousers sagging, I *will* pants you.  I know momma said appearance isn’t everything, but DAYUM – people look ridiculous with their asses hanging out, pull your damn pants up.  

15. Peer pressure is a scary thing.
Be a good leader and others will follow.

15.  Peer pressure is bullshit – make your own decent choices in this world, your family will always stand with you.  

16. Bringing her flowers for no reason
is always a good idea.

16.  Erm….I guess.  If she likes flowers.  Howabout asking her what she or he likes, and then going for that, versus an outdated concept of romance?  Just a thought.  Your dad’s best gifts to me in the world are handwritten notes, you might want to start there, with communication.  

17. It is better to be kind
than to be right.

17.  Be a gracious winner.  You can be right and kind at the same time.  

18. A sense of humor
goes a long way
in the healing process.

18.  *whistles* Always look on the bright side of life…

19. Please choose your spouse wisely.
My daughter-in-law will be the gatekeeper for me
spending time with you and my grandchildren.

19.  Well, if that ain’t some pressure, I don’t know what is.  Look, if you have kids, fine.  If you don’t, fine.  If your spouse is a dude, fine.  If I have raised you to have a brain in your head, you know right from wrong, you know who and what a decent partner is, I trust you’ll make the right choice.  And if I want to see you or any potential grandkids, *you* are who I will contact.  

20. Remember to call your mother
because I might be missing you.

20.  Luckily, you have a mother with a sense of self, so if I am missing you…I’ll pick up the damn phone, not pine away like some lighthouse keeper, waiting for the family to call.  Oh, and if you do call, and I’m out, just leave a message – I have a fabulous life to lead, and won’t always be near a phone line, but know I’ll always call you back, and I’ll always be there for you.  

US Shootings and the myth of the ‘crazed gunman’.

Posted by Shea in Politics and tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

(Editor’s note:  If you want conspiracy, go here).

 

Since no actual changes will be made to gun control or regulation (thanks, NRA and the politicians currently taking your blood money!), I thought I’d address an issue with post-shooting armchair psychiatry.  It never fails, after a mass shooting in the US, someone says “If only this crazy person wouldn’t have snapped, everything would have been okay”.  To begin, we need to understand that there are several definitions of ‘crazy’ (insane).

US Legal definition:  Mental illness of such a severe nature that a person cannot distinguish fantasy from reality, cannot conduct her/his affairs due to psychosis, or is subject to uncontrollable impulsive behavior.  Unsoundness of mind sufficient in the judgment of a civil court to render a person unfit to maintain a contractual or other legal relationship or to warrant commitment to a mental health facility.

US societal definition:  Mental illness or derangement.  No longer used in Medical form, instead use ‘mental health issues’.

As you can see, one can have mental health issues without necessarily being ‘insane’ in the legal sense of the word.  Plenty of people with mental health issues (author included) can attend day-to-day interactions without blowing away a school.  Important distinction.

The next issue concerns our uncomfortability with the human condition.  We don’t want to think of ourselves as base creatures, capable of extreme violence or disregard for humanity, so whenever a tragedy strikes, we call the assailant ‘crazy’.  After all, only an insane person would harm a child, right?  Well, according the the US government’s Administration for Children and Families:

“In 2004 approximately 3.5 million children were involved in investigations of alleged abuse or neglect in the US, while an estimated 872,000 children were determined to have been abused or neglected, and an estimated 1,490 children died that year because of abuse or neglect. In 2007, 1,760 children died as the result of child abuse and neglect.[1] Child abuse impacts the most vulnerable populations, with children under age five years accounting for 76% of fatalities.[2] In 2008, 8.3 children per 1000 were victims of child abuse and neglect and 10.2 children per 1000 were in out of home placement.[3]“

Were all the people in the above issues insane?  No.  Some may have been, but the majority were just awful human beings.  In fact, some of the most extensive abuses came from people lucid enough to create intricate machinations of torture and death.  From Pol Pot, Stalin, and Hitler, to the US’s own KKK, these people killed millions upon millions of innocent humans, and did knowing full well it was wrong.

So why do we want to run to the ‘crazy’ card?  Because it gives us a false sense of security.  We don’t do awful things, damaged people do.  We are good, we are decent, we would never be like that.  Every time a serial killer is caught, the neighbors go on tv and say the same thing – “He seemed so normal, we never suspected.”.  That’s the point – he was ‘normal’, but he was also an awful person.  Dennis Rader, the BTK Killer, worked for the city, was a scout leader, former head of his church, and methodically killed 10 women over a 17 year period.  He knew exactly what he was doing; he knew it was wrong; he did it anyways.  He was evil – he wasn’t insane.

It may explain why when a person of color commits an atrocity, they are evil, but when a white dude from our country does it, he’s nuts.  No one called for psych evals on the 9/11 bombers, they just talked about how evil the people involved were.  Yet here, we immediately play armchair Freuds and proclaim a pre-emptive insanity defence.  It’s the us-vs-them situation.  They are terrorists; we are just a lone nut.  They are evil; we are mentally unstable.  They could have stopped themselves, we had no control.  We separate ourselves from evil acts by assigning insanity to the aggressor to soothe ourselves as a society.  Problem is, it doesn’t stop the next killing.

It’s all academic in the end.  After all, in a week we’ll all take down our commemorative avatars, and go back to obsessing over whatever reality show is popular, and the NRA will continue its tireless quest to keep para-military equipment in the hands of everyone.  Nothing will actually change, and we’ll all pretend to be surprised when the next mass shooting occurs.  But at the very least, the next time around, maybe we can assume the assailant is bad before we assume they are ‘nuts’.

 

Post Tragedy, How To Avoid Online Scams

Posted by Shea in Assorted geekery, Politics and tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

(Editor’s note:  If you want conspiracy, go here).

 

As the names of the children and staff of Sandy Hook are formally released to the public, social media will be flooded with memes of remembrance and tributes. While some of the people creating these images have only the best intentions, many more are spreading these viral images for underhanded and sometimes illegal purposes. Here’s a list of ways that you can help and avoid becoming a victim.

1. The Facebook ‘Like and Share’: We’ve all seen the photos on Facebook – a little girl hooked up to machines in a hospital bed, asking you to like and share if you would like to see an end to cancer. Some even show a once healthy, now sadly deceased child, imploring you to help them break a world record for likes, so their sweet baby in heaven can see how much she touched lives, or imploring you to wear a certain color on a certain day in her memory, and to pass this message to everyone you know. Even more touching is when the creator of the page claims they will donate $1 for every hundred likes and shares, if you like their page first.

Problem is, most of these are completely fake memes, usually taken from pre-made photos of grieving parents without their knowledge. Every time you like and share one of these images, the algorithm in the social media platform you are using assigns that image a level of importance – the more people who like and share, the higher importance that image has. That explains why sometimes you see the same image three or four times on your news feed. When people ‘like’ the page that created the meme (usually a name like “All The Newtown Babies Are Now Angels”), that page also rises through the algorithm rankings. The creator of the page then sells the page wholesale to the highest bidder in online marketer forums. The name of the page is changed (usually to a cheap product page) and your facebook feed gets flooded with sales spam.

(Edited to add:  I just screencapped this from a ‘memorial’ facebook page – parents of very much alive children are finding their kid’s pictures on ‘Shooting victims’ photo collages.  Stay classy, scam artists!)

 

2. The ‘Commemorative Sales’ page: I’ve seen this across every social media board – a link to a page where a commemorative car magnet or mug is being sold, with “a portion of the profits” going to help the grieving families. Any time a sales page says “portion” of profits, they usually mean less than 1% of whatever they make off the scam, if that. You are better off donating directly to the community than buying whatever trinket is being offered to you online.

3. The Celeb quote or real-time update: This is a rather cruel trick, even compared to the above, where an anonymous meme will proclaim the dying words of a victim, or attribute a celebrity quote to further their own cause. The meme will say something like “Little Jessica’s last words were: ‘I hope people know my mommy and daddy were the best for me’ – LIKE and SHARE if you support traditional marriage!!!”, or ‘If only everyone in Sandy Hook had guns, this tragedy could have been avoided “ – Morgan Freeman’. These are almost always completely false, and preys on the emotional side of us to try and score political points for whatever the creator’s cause is.
If you are ever in doubt, go to a fact checking site like Snopes to see if the story you are spreading is real or a lie. They are unfortunately already very busy picking out fake images spreading from the Newtown, Connecticut shooting, which means there are going to be a lot more scam artists working in the next few days.

So how can you avoid scams, while also helping the victims of a tragedy? Here are some top tips:

1. If you want to donate to a community, go to their local webpage (almost every town has one) or local affiliate news station’s site. They will have detailed information on how to assist the community, from financial donations to blood drives. Your re-tweets or upvotes will not help anyone – they need cash for counsellors, funerals, and to repair buildings.

2.Many larger online entities will have donation pots available online for site-or –community specific donations. Amazon, Ebay, PayPal, and other larger retailers have a safe and secure way to donate money. If it’s not a webpage you’ve heard of before, don’t give them your credit card details! You are simply asking to be a victim of credit card fraud.

3.Contact your local Red Cross and ask to send your donation specifically to the victims of the tragedy. Larger charities have a great support network, and can get your donation straight to the source.

These are all completely safe ways to help in any post-catastrophe situation which ensures your donation will have the greatest bang for its buck when helping the victims and their families.

And finally, if you feel laws should change after a horrific incident, sharing a commemorative ribbon online and then forgetting about it in a week will not work. You have to pick up the phone and call your representatives from the House of Representatives, Senate, and White House to see change. A picture shared on Twitter or Myspace only makes you feel good for a second – a letter to your legislator could save future lives.

House Directory here
Senate Directory here
White House Directory here